


there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in

by blueabsinthe



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Hamilton Bulldogs, M/M, Ottawa Senators, Tampa Bay Lightning, Trade Deadline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 21:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueabsinthe/pseuds/blueabsinthe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dawn was breaking the bones of your heart like twigs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in

**Author's Note:**

  * For [boltschick2612](https://archiveofourown.org/users/boltschick2612/gifts).



> Title is lyrics from a Leonard Cohen song. Summary from the poem _Visible World_ by Richard Siken.

Cory sits on his bed, phone gripped tightly in his hand. He shivers, despite it not actually being cold, the sun streaming in through the windows warming his skin. Except, he doesn't feel the warmth. If he was being honest, he was numb. He had been numb ever since the news broke. He shifts his phone between his hands. More out of something to occupy his hands with then wanting to come to terms with the fact that, yes, he had been traded. 

He falls back against the sheets, stares up at the ceiling. Cory can't seem to tear his eyes away from the tiles. He marvels at the edges where one tile ends, only to be picked up by another. All perfectly planned out, which is the exact opposite of his world right now. 

He knows it was a business decision, and that it comes with the territory. But, it doesn't mean it hurts any less. Cory's phone vibrates again, but he can't bear to see who it is. He wants to be alone. Alone with his thoughts, his vulnerability. Cory feels like the only time he can allow himself to be vulnerable is when he is by himself. 

Or with Dustin.

He tries to force Dustin from his thoughts. But, somehow, even with the mere memory of him, it brought Dustin here, into his room. Cory shields his eyes from the light as the memories of Dustin come tumbling down around him. His chest hurts as the memories weigh heavily on his mind. 

His phone shudders against the palm of his hand. He still can't bear to see who it could be now. Cory knows who he wants it to be, and for some reason the thought causes a wave of longing to flood his system. He feels dizzy, and is glad he had opted to lie down.

Cory's mind plays images and memories of Dustin over and over like a film reel. The constant bouts of longing and loneliness always kicked in when they were on the phone with each other, but now they almost seemed double in their intensity. 

He tries to tell himself the deal was for the best. Cory figures the more he keeps telling himself that, the less painful it will be when he has to get on a flight. The Senators next game is in Buffalo. He will fly there to meet them. 

The phone he has had a death grip on for the past hour or so has finally loosened somewhat. He lets it fall to the sheets, ignoring how it buzzes insistently once again. Cory doesn't fight the images, or memories of Dustin that come this time. 

He remembers the last time he saw Dustin. It was the night before he got the call up to Tampa. He remembers Dustin's slightly breathy voice when he called to tell him he had been traded to the Hamilton Bulldogs. Cory could hear the sadness in his tone, despite Dustin's attempts to hold it back. 

The memories ebb and flow like the ocean waves. Cory almost doesn't realize he has taken his erection in his hand, remembering Syracuse, and how Dustin and him would sleep side by side, their fingers intertwined. He thinks about the time he touched Dustin for the first time, his mind recalling desperate images of Dustin's body as he moved his hand over his cock. Cory comes, imagining Dustin's dark eyes staring into his as warmth spills over his palm. He bites on his bottom lip, desperate to keep Dustin's voice and face in his mind. 

He whimpers as the memories begin to fade, and Cory can't help but feel like all the little cracks in his world would eventually break. He blinks, his vision slowly coming back into focus. 

His phone ringing sounds almost like it is coming from a distance. Despite his reluctance to take any calls from anyone, he answers it anyway.

"Hello?" his tone is hoarse from misuse. 

"I'm sorry," Dustin whispers simply. 

"I know," Cory replies. 

A slight chuckle and a rustle of fabric greets Cory's ears. "Hamilton's only about four hours away from Ottawa."

Cory feels his lips twitch in amusement. "Trust you to make me smile when I really don't feel like it."

"That's why you love me."

"I miss you."

"You'll see me soon," Dustin said, his tone laced with promise. "It'll be like a mini homecoming."

The sun is still streaming in through the windows, the rays tickling his skin, and kissing his cheeks. And, for the first time since hearing about the trade, Cory no longer feels numb.


End file.
